i like you...

[Hook - Ciara]
I ain't neva had nobody show me all the things that you done showed me
And the special way I feel when you hold me
We gone always be together baby that's what you told me
And I believe it (Cause I ain't neva had nobody do me like u)

[Verse 1 - Bow Wow (Ciara)]
Now I done been with different kind of girls
Like I done seen em all but ain't none of them at all (like u)
And I done seen the best of the best
Baby still I ain't impressed cause ain't none of them at all (like u)
If you know how I feel when I chill
If I'm seen with a girl then she gotta be just (like u)
And baby that's the way I feel
And I got no choice but for me to keep it real
Cause when we first got together started hanging out you was
Skeptical at first had to figure out if
I was the kind of guy to try to dog you out but
I ain't that kind of guy you tried to make me out
You found out when you turned into my baby
I showed them other brothers how to treat a lady
I let you drive when I ride that Mercedes
And I ain't trippin or actin shady cause baby you kno

[Hook - Bow Wow & Ciara]
I ain't neva had nobody show me all the things that you done showed me
And the special way I feel when you hold me
We gone always be together baby that's what you told me
And I believe it (Cause I ain't neva had nobody do me like u)

[Verse 2 - Ciara]
And every time I think about you (I cry)
When you ride when you call when you come I (ride)
Your love is a-mazing to me
Can't wait til I see you (I wanna be wit you again)
And every time you're out on the road (I make a trip)
And whenever I'm doing a show (Don't you forget)
That I'm your (main chick)
Who got that (game chick)
One and the (same chick)
The one you can hang with

[Hook - Bow Wow & Ciara]
I ain't neva had nobody show me all the things that you done showed me
And the special way I feel when you hold me
We gone always be together baby that's what you told me
And I believe it (Cause I ain't neva had nobody do me like u)

[Verse 3 - Bow Wow]
Okay when you hit the mall pop tags spend a few g's (jazin?)
Hit the runway to a new season (season)
It ain't nothin it's you the one I care for
Feel like I ain't doing enough that's when I share more (share more)
I give you this give you that what you need love (love)
You know I got it holla at me if you need love (love)
And affection cause i'll be your protection
Kinda hard job but i'll do it to perfection
And you can tell that I ain't tryna let you go
I get with you when I can so that's how I let you kno
And you be trippin cause sometimes I gotta go
But you the first one I hollared to right after my shows
And I was trippin in a sense I was tense
From my body loose around you what imma do without you
I gotta get it together say whateva
Since I met you my life seems so betta

[Hook - Ciara]
I ain't neva had nobody show me all the things that you done showed me
And the special way I feel when you hold me
We gone always be together baby that's what you told me
And I believe it (Cause I ain't neva had nobody do me like u)

[Bow Wow & Ciara]
I ain't neva had nobody show me all the things that you done showed me
And the special way I feel when you hold me
We gone always be together baby that's what you told me
And I believe it (Cause I ain't neva had nobody do me like u)



love the beat of this one...
my mind has been blank for a couple of days now...
writer block?
hmmmm... or in a withdrawal stage of something.. am not an addict of some designer druge huh.. withdrawal cuz am kinda fed of somethings... i am very much craving for a change... hmmm now! the writers block is out! yehey!! i have something to write now!!!




lets change the topic...

my life

my desktop

arent they cute?!

french toast for breakfast .. and things in my mind

i woke up at around 8.30... i was suppose to be up by 6.30 so i can go to work at around 8 am.. but then duh! stupid me... i was up till 3am chattin' and reading email. i was able to talk to sonny.. old mate ;-).. usual talk.. teasin' and messin' around. but even though am single.. i wont be hittin' on him cuz i think he's happy with his life now.

anyway, i went out of my bed and looked for food in the kitchen, i dont know why i felt so hungry... then saw a pack of white bread.. am so sick eating bread just the way it is.. so i went to look for some fresh milk and eggs in our fridge but only found eggs... whoala! i mixed some powdered milked instead..the hell i care what it'll taste like but i want something... sassy.. or better yet.. scary tastin'! hehehe... though the finish product wasnt bad... it went out "sassy"... while eating my so-called french toast.. my mind starting twirling... thinkin... how can i get a big bunchamoney for shopping in singapore... why? cindy's asked me to go with her and eric to singapore next month... am excited cuz it'll be the first time i'll be going out of the country with friends.. i can get money from my meager salary for the fare.. but i wanted to bring lotsa stuff for my folks... then my itsy bitsy brain jumped again to another topic... rj..my friend.. i have never in the entire span of our friendship asked him if he's what or what...though it's been confirmed... that thought put a smile in my face.. it was a funny thought...then it made me count.. how many times have i proven that my world here in manila is small... hehehehe.. it's a small circle that goes round and round back to me..

then while looking at my breakfast... i was thinking.. am i really happy with my life? i mean i know i havent achieved anything yet.. and am drop dead single..hehehe... single... passing by my mind... i thought of him... this guy from somewhere. Mr. Something.. that's how mark and i would call him. But it breaks my heart to think that i didnt made a first good impression to him... and i bet he already have hots for somebody else...so wishing alot for me!!! hmpffff... anyway... i was able to finish my toast and just went to work.... what an ending.... blufff!!!














i got the hots for you...

where are you?

i snatched this picture from somewhere i cant remember... i like the colors, specially lil lights on the girls hair... it kinda made me feel sad and think of him again... haaay! where are you? i wanted to go home, though possibilty of me seeing you is small... i mean home is so big... i dont know where exactly you are there... i miss you. there are alot of things that i wanted to tell you. like... i did love you. without you knowing... you thought it was only you who did the loving. it pains me alot to think that i hurted you by just saying the other person's name...






















am flying away...

am sorry

i know i have been so harsh and rude today... but then i got offended, i mean i didnt mean to be so damn rude at you. it's not you in whole who i am mad at. but the action made. i cant go mad at those people who did it, they're not my responsibility. but when i saw you crying i got so all mad cuz you're a cry baby! you thought i was so bad but no am not! think! think hard! you're not "bobo"! i wanted to say sorry but then, when i saw you crying... hmp! dead!... i receive an email from a concerned person... thank you. then again there are things that i want to keep for myself. i dont owe anyone an explanation.. i admit there are things that i have done wrong. thanks for respecting my not telling you what the hell is wrong with me.. now back off! yes... i will not be lost for you nor do you for me. lets treat each other as if were just mere strangers working in one place, and we dont like working together... there are things that i dont want to be sticking around me. i might get misunderstood.. i dont want it. just be happy with your life... ok? and i may not be happy with mine but it's none of your damn business. i dont know how i can tell this all to you without offending you but this is how i feel... am just being real.. nawalan ako ng gana mag work.. kahit na andito si crush and sobrang visible sya... although he makes me smile.. nakakainis nga lang he doesnt know who i am...haaaaaay... wish ko lang tlga! ----- ot is open... yey! mag oot off ako tom. i need money... cindy's planning to go to singapore with direk.. yey! 6k lang ang pamasahe... so sa sat. ang gagawin ko hindi ako uuwi mag oot ako from 11 to 5 tpos shift ko ng 5.30am to 2.30... then may laro sa hapon... bahala na si batman!

the bitch inside is near boiling point

twisted lil soul...

i dunno what came into me, but there's this strong urge inside me to own you..
i know it's not possible
i know it'll be just a mere dream
but i am enjoying every thought of you inside my brain...
those pictures of us together
those mushy moments that i have stored inside me..
it'll be very impossible

i want you so much
not in a sexual way
i dunno why not

whenever i see you just walk
makes my heart flutter.. (eow! is this me?!)
i honestly not just want to be your friend
..i want you!

but this urge of me to own you... makes my soul twisted...














i wanted to hold you so much..
that it kills me inside

wierd

i was suppose to go to work this morning... overtime... but i woke up late... haaaay... SAYANG! kainis... i had this wierd dream... haaay... i was in this "party" but then i was with this guy... i cant remember him now... pero sa dream ko.. his face was so clear... tpos sya daw yung guy i was dating and instead of staying late sa party we went out daw and checked in in some posh hotel tpos we had sex... hmmmm...















i still am longing to see those what if's ....

what a day...

we had a game today and i sucked big time...wehehehehe... am not used to playing anymore... sorry team mates! atleast you guys put up a great fight.... nde kayo na default ;-)











am a sucker for the big wide green space... it goes into my head... it makes me feel insane

infatuation that hurts alot

I can still remember the way he looks the last time we saw, that was somewhere in '95... pretty face looks tired and eyes all lit up... he jsut came back from one of his outside work... he worked for a factory in taguig.. it's part of his vocation that he works to different places to experience life.. in its reel real form.. he's not used to working like really hard work for he came from a well off family.. he called me that day, he was so excited for he is going to treat me with his first hard earned money. He is my biggest crush.. and i think then he treats me like his lil sister... though then.. i was involved and in love... or so i think.. with another guy... but i still went out to see him. He didnt really know that i am attached then... though i was so young way back then.. I am 15 and he 2o or so... i told him about this other guy.. since i am blind with love.. i ignored the hurt i saw in his eyes ... that was the last meeting we had.. he said goodbye and he looked tired and hurt... when we parted.. the urge to run after him and tell him i love him was so strong.. though, age gap came in.. what if he laughs at me.. and what if what i thought i saw was hurt was only a figment of my imagination? and if everything was not just what i wanted to think it was.. that it really was hurt... we will still be a taboo. so i went back home and didnt mention anything to my partner then...

4 years ago, my cousin told me that he got married already... he didnt make it.. he didnt become a priest...

the news didnt surprised me.. it was the hurt that came in... :(


















































i fell asleep and never saw the sun go down....

one more chance...madonna

I turned around too late to see the fallen star
I fell asleep and never saw the sun go down
I took your love for granted
Thought luck was always on my side
I turned around too late and you were gone

[Chorus:]

So give me one more chance
Darlin' if you care for me
Let me win your love
'Cause you were always there for me
If you care for me,
Be there for me

I like to play the queen of hearts and never thought I'd lose
I rolled the dice but never showed my hand
I planned it out so perfectly,
So you'd never leave a girl like me
I was a fool, but now I understand

[chorus]

Here is the law of the land
You play with fire and you'll get burned
Here is the lesson I've learned
That you don't know what you've got til it's gone

[chorus, without last two lines]

Gimme one more chance
Tell me that it's not too late
Let me win your love
Darlin' please don't hesitate
If you care for me,
Be there for me

Give me one more chance
















things left unsaid.... are not nice...
what if's sucks
chances are slim

Etc.

can't you get my actions? i simply hate you! hate you being around or even near me... i despise you.. OK! i dont even want you to be my friend.. sh!t!... pleaseeee!!! i dont know what suddenly happend that i hate you like this... not just the sight of you, even the sound of your name! please!! argh!!!!! honestly? i want you miles away from me! like you go to hell..will be even better! i hate you i hate you! i dont want you to be near me... not even within the same place i am in... argh!!

i dont want to see you hear you... i dont want to be your enemy however i dont want you as a fried nor someone i know! i want you to be just a mere stranger... people might misunderstood this a me falling ... but no! am not i really find you icky!... nadidiri ako sayo!... hmp! I SWEAR!

on the brighter side of my life...
i saw my crushie 4x last week...including last sunday... he's such a cutie
we'll have a game this sat. (volleyball) i dont wanna play really for one reason... i dont have a new pair of rubber shoes...
my younger bro's taking his test at ateneo come this sat.... goodluck kap
am enjoying my work now. though my eyes are hurting alot lately... i need to wear glasses again which i hate cuz they hurt. i was suppose to have this 10 days vacation somewhere though decided to postpone it. i wanted to go to australia, live and work there for a year, hope God permits, just for a year. though my mom's planning to send me off to london with my lola and lolo. possibly late this year. watever! what i really want is to go out of the country for a year and have a life of my own.



am trying to look on the happy side of life... really

dont you just hate it?

when you realize that you have been an outsider all along?
that you thought you were cared for the same way you do?
that you thought everything's genuine? while all along everything's fake?
maybe it was not meant to be like that... but when have i been wrong with my instincts?
maybe some are true.. however they have changed. here i go again... once more misunderstood
do i always have to explain myself when i feel that there is something wrong with the surroundings? .. honestly, i dont owe anyone any damn explanation.. i'll just go on with my life... space my self 'till everything will just go away...far away, like nothing had happend. no moments shared. they're just another flock that i have crossed. no need to linger. no reason to hold on. dont owe any explanation. am plain tired of exerting effort.... term in tagalog.. KSP. there might have been some selfish reasons behind these events. some personal slacks that needs to be tackled. and enough for me to be giving much attention to those things, they're not my business. i wont die with it. so whats the point of bantering about these things?... mediocre... i just want to "exhale"....


life's shitty.... sometimes

dream

last night i had this long dream.. about my long lost friend emil. It was like we (me and my mom and my son) about to enter this resto and i saw him... i hesitated to call him though something pushed me to shout his name... he seemed to have not changed in my dream... he didnt looked old and he still have that silly smile. it was one of those dreams that you get a clear vision on whats going on and you can still remember every single detail when you wake up. we talked, the way we used to talk, no holds barred, and he kept on flashing that childish smile to me.. which i find it cute.. then he told me that he already have a wife and a kid... i woke up sad. i dunno why i woke up sad.. maybe cuz i miss him.. and i was not able to tell him my true feelings. If i'll be given a chance to see him. maybe i will, there's still the word maybe. haaaaaaaaaaaay!!!








give me one more chance.. if care for me

going...sore.. not trusting n'more

am tired...
seeing that..
hearing that
doing that

am pissed off
i dont know if i still wanna be with..
if i still like..
do i still trust?
no

no.. i dont think so...
do i still like being?
no

is it really true?
what have been showed?
i dont think so

was i have been liked?
hypocrisy? yah no doubt

why?
am not comfortable around
have i opened?
no

do i still wanna see?
be around?
have i ever felt at home?
maybe...

no! really? even once? yes...
but most of the time?

am floating... not with angst
disgust?
nice...yeah kinda
care?...not the kind of care i know..well not all

i feel sore...
being
around...

i dont like
i'll go...