guilty

i plead guilty already to myself a couple of days ago. yes. i admit. it find it hard to resist. it's like a drug. i know that it's not good for me but then i like while it slowly kills me. i am aware that this will lead to nothing. this is just a dream. a dream that is giving me a temporary high. high that i like so much. i dont know when i will give this up. but i know that since i am into this right now. i will hold on to it. even though i know it is just as good as holding air. soon. i'll realize. what i have is bad.