infatuation that hurts alot

I can still remember the way he looks the last time we saw, that was somewhere in '95... pretty face looks tired and eyes all lit up... he jsut came back from one of his outside work... he worked for a factory in taguig.. it's part of his vocation that he works to different places to experience life.. in its reel real form.. he's not used to working like really hard work for he came from a well off family.. he called me that day, he was so excited for he is going to treat me with his first hard earned money. He is my biggest crush.. and i think then he treats me like his lil sister... though then.. i was involved and in love... or so i think.. with another guy... but i still went out to see him. He didnt really know that i am attached then... though i was so young way back then.. I am 15 and he 2o or so... i told him about this other guy.. since i am blind with love.. i ignored the hurt i saw in his eyes ... that was the last meeting we had.. he said goodbye and he looked tired and hurt... when we parted.. the urge to run after him and tell him i love him was so strong.. though, age gap came in.. what if he laughs at me.. and what if what i thought i saw was hurt was only a figment of my imagination? and if everything was not just what i wanted to think it was.. that it really was hurt... we will still be a taboo. so i went back home and didnt mention anything to my partner then...

4 years ago, my cousin told me that he got married already... he didnt make it.. he didnt become a priest...

the news didnt surprised me.. it was the hurt that came in... :(


















































i fell asleep and never saw the sun go down....