closure o arte lang

according to the cards... of our in house manghuhula i need to deal with my past for it is blocking the blessings that am suppose to be getting...haaaay...the only past that i know that i havent dealt with is alexis...we never talked about what had happened...never said sorry to each other...never forgave for the hurtful actions made... were civil, though that's just mask... HOW IN HELL CAN I DEAL WITH THIS? ...how that i dont know where to start?!...am afraid to tell him i forgive him because he might give me a blank face and i'll just might lose my temper and slap him?! nah! just go on...nah nah nah!... just this one chance... after the talk...wala na! pero i just need to make sure na everything's sorted out.... i need to make a plan... i need to.. i need to...because i want to move on! its been 10 years! so i have to! am too old for this angst! this should be history...do i want to totally erase him?