Lack of Sleep and all those shit

My shift ended at around 5am this morning, and after eating brunch with a couple of friends, went home at around 12, was not able to get sleep right away cuz got some visitors a home. the boogieman visited me at around 3pm and my clock shouted at me at around 5pm... but still i was able to find energy to pull myself up and go to work. funny though, i know that am so tired and all but still i feel so high, my energy level is way up on ten... why do i feel so perky perky today? am i trying to hide something? i know deep down inside me i am covering up for something.. i am in denial, i just wanna look happy but i know am not... this is hard but i am enjoying it, it makes me look stupid and it makes me feel weak, i know i am weak, i am a coward, i am nothing... aaaaaarrrrgggghhh!! i dont wanna feel so damn depressed so i guess i'll just go on with this "joke" i have going on..